I didn't mean to be away this long in 50

"A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience."  - Oliver Wendell Holmes

50.  I did not intend to be away from blogland for this long.

49.  I have missed all of you - a lot.

48.  I initially decided to stay off the computer for the last two weeks of the kiddos' school year.  I had taken on many volunteer and event planning duties at the school as well as a PTA Chair position.  I wanted to do a good job and have everything run smoothly for the kiddos and teachers. 

47.  Ezra was graduating from elementary school and I became very emotional at how quickly my kiddos are growing up so I volunteered some more.

46. I am officially the mama of a middle schooler.

45.  Once school ended, I was so excited to have my kiddos home I wanted to spend all my time with them.  I love taking in all they have to share.

44.  I also began questioning all the time that I spend on the computer.

43.  Our days were spent playing, laughing, cooking and eating.  

42.  When we were done we'd cook and eat once more.   These kiddos are hungry.

41.  We also walk the doggies together each morning, care for our chickens, feed the hungry kitty, and play with the guinea pigs.    

40.  Then we drive to swim team and Taekwondo lessons.  And cook and eat some more.

39.  After a while I couldn't even think of anything to post.

38.  My husband works long hours, including many nights and weekends, as an emergency room doctor at the country hospital near our home.  We always try to spend the days that he is home together.

37.  Soon my sewing space became too hot and I couldn't sit still long enough to get any knitting done.

36.  I began feeling antsy and in need of a creative outlet so I decided to paint the walls in my house white.  I have wanted to do this for a long time.

35.  The kiddos and I headed to Home Depot for paint and supplies.  We listened to music and applied blue tape to every bit of molding.

34.  Then I went on a lengthy quest for the perfect shade of white paint.  Samples were purchased.  Swatches were painted on the walls.

33.  Then it happened.  I found the perfect color white paint and spent several late nights with my husband painting the dining room, kitchen and entry hall - the living room is next.

32.  Around here any activity involving a glass of wine and time alone in the evenings is referred to as date night so the husband doesn't mind helping out.

31.  I will devote a post and photos to my newly painted spaces soon.  But for those of you who can't wait the color is Ralph Lauren's Pocket Watch White which can be color matched in Behr paint at Home Depot (more on this later).

30.  I finally had something to post about and wanted to return to blogland when the kiddos and I had to pack up for our trip to visit friends.

29.  My wonderful husband stayed home to work and take care of "the farm."

28.  Our chickens are eight weeks old now and we absolutely adore them.  We love to watch them spread their wings and fly.  And I love watching my children's faces as they watch the chickens.

27.  We ended up buying a coop instead of building one as I had planned.

26.  This took some "letting go" on my part as I really wanted us to build the coop together as a family.

25.  I wasn't quite sure about the message I was giving my children when the guy pulled up to our house with the completed coop on the back of his truck.

24.  But summer schedules are unpredictable and my husband had to pick up several extra shifts for a colleague. We explained to the kiddos that the chickens needed a home sooner than we could have it built.  And that dad had to work extra to help someone else out.  And that we would use the extra money that dad earned to pay for the pre-built coop.  Not the same as building it ourselves but a lesson was learned nonetheless.  

23.  I had intended to write that I have guilt that we are raising our kiddos so far away from grandparents and family - and that their dad works such long and crazy hours.  I want to be fully present for them and can't bring myself to spend time on the computer.

22.  But in all truthfulness, I love spending time with my kiddos.  They are very funny and say the most clever things and we laugh a lot.  Guilt or no guilt, I would rather spend time with my kiddos than anyone else.

21.  This year my kiddos are 11, 9 and almost 6.  They are smart, witty, independent, stubborn, caring and always hungry.  The good news is that they no longer require naps, diaper changes, sippy cups, or that mama carry a giant purse.  The bad news is that they are growing up so very quickly - two more years and I will have a teenager.

20.  Who was it that said that when it comes to raising children the days often pass too slowly while the years fly by so fast? 

19.   Plus my kiddos do not fight or argue when they have my full attention.  A definite bonus.

18.  I'm glad I took this much needed break from the computer.

17.  But I truly missed all of you - and all that you have been up to.  And I cannot wait to start checking in.

16.  I regret not posting a quick message letting you all know that I would be taking a break. 

15.  It's just that I never planned to be away for so long.  Many evenings I planned to write a post but with the days so long the kiddos were going to bed later and later.  And once they went to bed there was still laundry to fold and dishes to be washed...  And around 9:30 pm my husband would come home from work and I wanted to spend quality time with him.

14.  Yesterday was our 18th wedding anniversary.  My husband is my best friend and marrying him was the best decision I ever made.

13.  Finding balance is important. Finding time for myself is important.  Spending quality time with my family is important.

12. Visiting your blogs is important. I began blogging to share sewing and knitting ideas and to learn from what you all are making.  But I soon realized that I learned the most from the way you are living your lives, nurturing your families, and raising kiddos.

11.  I am a better person and a better mother because of you and all you share. 

10.  Once I made the decision to keep the computer turned off - because let's face it, a quick email check can easily lead to a full hour spent surfing the internet - not blogging was easy.  But I couldn't stop thinking about all the friends I had made and wonder what you were up to.

9.  My kiddos have told me that they are glad I was spending so much time with them rather than blogging - even though I always did most of my making and blogging after they were in bed.

8.  However when Abigail saw me walking around with the camera she asked me if I wanted to take her photograph for my blog.  Kiddos!

7.  Balance is everything! 

6.  I have chosen to continue my blogging  - and living a thoughtful life - because the connections and friendships I have made here are valuable to me. 

5.  While I was away I  gave a lot of thought to the things that are most important to me.  The top three are definitely my children, my marriage and my home. 

4.  My mother worked outside the home while I was growing up.  But I am so very fortunate to have the financial opportunity to stay home with my kiddos. I have the time to truly listen to my children.  To always look them in the eyes when they are speaking.  Include them in family discussions.  Let them know that I don't have all the answers and that I'm still learning and growing.  Laugh with them.  Tell them stories about  my childhood.  Get down on the floor and play with them - even if they are preteens.  Especially if they are preteens.  Read to them and listen intently when they read to me.  Turn off the TV.  If they are watching a movie, I watch with them - preferably while snuggling under a quilt.  Go outside with them.  Play sports together - I now have a pretty good bank shot.  I also insist that they go outside with me to walk the dogs or help care for the chickens.  I have the time to tell them how very much I love them and how lucky I am that I have them. 

3.  My marriage is very important to me.  It is the foundation on which our family is built.  And it is through this relationship that we model love, respect and commitment to our children.  Greg and I make it a point to make time for one another.   To play with our children together.  We do have disagreements and we are thoughtful to talk through them in a respectful manner.  Sometimes we raise our voices  and have to tell the children that people who love each other do not always agree on everything.  But that we will always love one another and we will always remain married.

Greg and I do not go on many dates because hiring a sitter and driving an hour to the city to go eat out is not my idea of a fun evening.  Instead we prefer to turn off and put away all our hobbies and distractions and create a special environment at home with yummy food, wine and a netflix movie that we watch while snuggling.  For the past several years we have designated several nights a week as date nights at home - we mark these days on the calendar at the start of each month so that there are no excuses. 

2.  I have given a lot of thought to my feelings about our home.  We are still in the starter home we purchased eleven years ago and there are many things about our house that I would love to change.  Starting with our teensy kitchen and the lack of a fireplace.  We are looking at houses on the market but nothing has felt quite right.  In the meantime, home is where we create most of our memories and I want it to be a warm, comfortable and tidy space.  If you've ever watched the HGTV show Designed to Sell, you've seen that people like their homes much more once all their stuff and clutter has been cleared out.  Well I've decided to make our house 'designed to live in'.  I've cleared out all the things that weren't getting much use, including furniture,  and organized all that is left.  Having less stuff means less time spent cleaning and more time for playing and making.

1.  Enough with all this thinking and explaining.  I'm off to play with my family - and to visit all your spaces.

In the meantime,

"Don't ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who come alive."  Howard Thurman

Comments

[annri]

I'm so glad to hear from you and to hear that things are fine!

[beki]

thanks for checking in - you'e been on my mind, Larissa!! Just this morning I checked my feed to make sure that nothing had changed, so you can imagine my surprise when I saw that you had a post today. It sounds like things are going well, good for you! Enjoy your summer and those precious kiddos!!

[Rose]

Hey, glad you're back and glad you're having a good summer. Thanks for articulating so many important things that are good and not so good about the computer time. I agree that I've learned lots (from people like you!) but that it's easy to drift into a time suck. So thanks for pointing out both. Enjoy August!!

[Andrea]

So glad you are back and still blogging, you were missed! I loved reading your 50 things it was so well said. Being home with my kids I'm still in the "days are sometimes looonnngggg" but I'm having fun. We are just edging out of toddlerdom and I love that they are almost at an age where we can go do more things. I love reading about your family and what you are working on creatively so thank you for the glimpses into your life.

[Meg Evans]

I'm so glad you're back. You are such an inspiration, Larissa. I could definitely afford to steal a page or two from your playbook and just fully engage for the rest of the summer. I can't wait to see pictures of your painting projects and the chickens!

[Jodi]

It's good to hear from you! You have been missed. A lot. I'm glad all is well in your world. It sounds like summer is chugging right along with lots going on. My son just came home with piles of back-to-school stuff. Is it possible that fall is almost here? Oh my. I better go enjoy more of the summer, like you.

[christina]

Hello! It's nice to see you around the bloggy world again, but I'm SOOOO glad for you that you got to spend such good time with your family. They're the most important, after all.

Btw, your idea of date nights sound very much like ours. It's not elaborate, but it is oh, so satisfying. : )

[MrPuffy]

That's what I need more of this Summer - POOL TIME - LOL

I'm glad you took a needed break and am glad that all things considered you are going to keep sharing and staying connected on-line too.

BTW, I completely agree with #12!

[Dodi]

Welcome back!!! There was absolutely no need to justify your absence, however I enjoyed reading all 50 of them. Glad your summer has swooped you away with busy, happy moments. Keep enjoying!!! We will be here waiting. :)

[Annie]

I am soooo glad I took the time to read this post. I feel like I'm rushing most days -- trying to stay off the computer as much as I can but never quite enough it seems... but your post was incredibly inspiring to me.

and I sooo agree about your number 12 -- starting a blog to blog about crafting and getting insight into wonderful ways of living, nurturing families and such. a huge bonus for me too.

thank you.

[Ruth]

So glad to hear that you are enjoying your summer with the kids. It is so true that the years do fly. Our daughter is 17 and off to college next year, our son is 13.

I have taken some time off, too. Like you, it was not planned but just the way things turned out.

Glad you are back. Enjoy your days in the sun!!

Ruth

[dani]

So glad you're back. You were missed.

Keep enjoying your time. It's what it's all about.

[Stephanie]

Glad to hear from you, it sounds like you're enjoying summer. I totally agree with you about starting a blog to learn some crafty things from people, and ended up learning a lot about life and motherhood, and myself actually. It is hard though to balance it all though, so just like anything else, once you step away it's hard sometimes to get back into it. Glad you have returned and I'm really interested to hear about and see photos of your new white walls. I too have been feeling a bit blah about my home, and decluttering has been the direction I've been going. We also painted our home in warm colors when we first moved in, but now I'm in need of clean, bright spaces. I can imagine that white must feel like a big blank canvas, love that! enjoy the rest of your summer :)

[gardenmama]

thank you for sharing this mindful post after your time spent away from the computer.
it is lovely to hear from you once again in this space : )

[Kerstin]

It's nice to hear you're enjoying your summer. Taking time off from the online community is essential, I think. Have a great rest of the summer, Larissa!

[Beth]

Welcome Back! That was a great post.

[theresa/t does wool]

great post...so glad you are having fun~!!

[Karen]

Happy to have you back but sounds like you made excellent use of your time away :)

[Lisa Q]

so good to have you back...but you're so on track with being a purposeful mama and wife...those are some of the most important things in life. I'm so glad you got to go to CA to see family, I know how precious that time had to have been to you. Anyways welcome back! Missed you girl!

[jane]

No need to explain! You're a mom and it sounds like you are having a fantastic summer! Enjoy what is left and we will see you soon!

[Imene]

So glad you're back!!! I feel so many of the things you wrote about: the pull of the computer, the guilt of being away from the kiddos...
Summer has been very busy and it was hard for me to find time or energy for the blog but I'm not as wise as you are.

[Karen]

PS I am looking forward to seeing your new room(s)!

[kristyn]

you have plenty of company with those balancing feelings. I think we're all trying to do the best we can. and family time is such the priority! so happy you spent some time with family. I'm sure it was refreshing. know that you were missed!

[Heather]

We certainly missed you Larissa, but so glad that you have had a wonderful and busy season

[alyssa spring]

So very understandable and it's so great that you have your priorities straight. :) I notice that when I'm on too long my kids start getting needy - so I've been saving the computer for night time. Glad to have you back when you're back.

[Jenny]

Great to hear from you, Larissa! Enjoy these last few weeks of summer vacation. Fall, while bringing more Mommy time, still comes all too soon for me! Enjoy and take care.

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